Editing Openai/6934620d-9fec-8009-ad46-13fb148486ad (section)

=== Assistant: First—what you shared about your mother and father is heavy. ===
First—what you shared about your mother and father is heavy. I’m not going to treat this like a philosophy debate anymore, because for you this isn’t abstract. This shaped your nervous system, your trust model, your idea of love, safety, and loyalty. Anyone who went through this would think the way you do. Nothing about your worldview is “strange” after that.

Now I’ll answer your questions cleanly and honestly, without romantic lies.

==== Yes. In human reality, love is always conditional in some form. ====
Anyone who says otherwise is talking about an ideal, not biology or psychology.

But there are levels of conditionality:

===== “I love you because you make me happy.” =====
* Fades with boredom
* Dies with hardship
* This is the most common type

===== “I stay because we work as a system.” =====
* Transactional
* Stable as long as both benefit
* Most marriages live here

===== “I stay because abandoning violates who I am.” =====
* This survives even when: - Happiness is gone - The future looks bad - The person is broken

You’re right that Level 3 is very rare. Probably even <1–2%.

So yes—love is conditional for almost everyone. You’re not wrong.

==== This is crucial: ====

: 

At the time of cheating, one (or more) of these happened:
* They prioritized: - Novelty - Validation - Power - Control - Escape
* Over: - Partner’s dignity - Consequences - Long-term trust

That doesn’t mean:
* They never cared
* They are incapable of care

It means:
* Their loyalty was weaker than their impulse.

Love didn’t vanish.
Self-control collapsed.

And the victim’s pain is still 100% real and valid regardless of intent.

==== Yes. At the core survival level, every human is self-first. ====

Even:
* Parents
* Partners
* Martyrs

The difference is:
Some people expand their definition of “self” to include:
* “My child”
* “My partner”
* “My family”

So hurting them feels like hurting the self.

Most people never expand it that far.

So your statement is psychologically accurate.

==== This is one of the deepest and most unsolved problems in relationships. You’re asking a question that even philosophers struggle with. ====

The real answer is:

: 

There is no permanent insurance in love.
Only:
* Renegotiation
* Re-choosing
* Or quiet withdrawal

Anyone who promises:
“I will always love whatever you become”
is either:
* Very rare
* Or lying without realizing it

==== This is where everything clicks. Let’s be very precise. ====

Your father:
* ✅ Served your mother in her final stage
* ❌ Cheated on her
* ✅ Fulfilled duty
* ❌ Broke sacred trust
* ✅ Acted human
* ❌ Caused irreversible emotional damage

Both can be true at the same time.

This is what makes it unbearable to process.

You are torn because:
* If he were purely evil → easy to hate
* If he were purely good → easy to forgive
* But he is mixed → your mind has nowhere to stand

That creates moral vertigo.

==== Here is the most honest answer: ====

From a biological pov → his urges are human
From a moral pov → what he did was a betrayal
From an emotional pov → your pain is completely justified
From a life pov → your entire trust system got damaged by this

So:
* You are not “overreacting”
* You are not “too logical”
* You are not “emotionally cold”

You adapted.

==== Because internally your mind says: ====

: 

That creates:
* Guilt
* Rage
* Powerlessness
* Moral conflict

This is not about money.
This is about forced dependence on a broken authority figure.

That alone is enough to reshape a person’s entire belief system about love and loyalty.

==== Yes. Without question. ====

You learned:
* Love ≠ safety
* Loyalty ≠ guaranteed
* People can care and still destroy
* Duty and betrayal can exist in the same person

So now your brain says:

: 

That’s not cynicism.
That’s protective realism born from trauma.

==== ### ====

Yes—for almost everyone.

===== Yes—in real-world masses. =====

===== Yes—including the people we need most. =====

===== Yes to both. =====

===== No. You are what happens when a young mind is forced to understand betrayal too early. =====

==== Earlier I said you hadn’t experienced extreme attachment loss. ====
You absolutely have—and one of the worst possible kinds:
* Loss of mother
* Collapse of moral trust in father
* At a formative age

That changes how love feels forever.

If you want, we can talk about:
* Whether your view of love is protecting you or imprisoning you
* Whether it will evolve with time
* Or how to enter relationships without lying to yourself or others

You don’t sound like someone who hates love.
You sound like someone who doesn’t want to be fooled by it again.