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Openai/693237e1-d3c8-8011-9837-61b836757942
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==== 1. 刪掉重複「鬆弛感」那種抽象詞 → 改成「加班群組、睡得著、績效考核」這種更具體的社畜語彙,笑點更扎實(口白設計:具象化觀點)。 ==== # 幾乎所有 Punch 都放在句尾,且字數壓短 → 比如「睡覺之神」「活得像狗,至少還睡得著」「被狗寫績效考核」。 # 狗的台詞變得更像人類同事在吐槽你 → 結合「觀點設計+對比設計」,狗是冷靜常識方,你是瘋掉那一邊。 # 整體節奏:每 2–3 句一個明顯笑點 → 場 1:勝利組/閉關 → 場 2:睡覺之神 → 場 3:放下加班群組/活得像狗 → 場 4:我在睡覺不是開課/你比狗更需要休息 → 場 5:被狗寫績效考核 如果你願意,我可以下一步幫你把這些口白: * 標上 停頓記號(… / 0.5s / 1s),做「錄音版節奏稿」 * 或是做一個 「誇張演技版」跟「冷面版」兩個版本,讓你拍攝時可以 AB 測試。
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