Editing Openai/69519d3a-3860-8010-8ac6-2ef78cf19525 (section)

=== Assistant: this makes sense — and it’s not weakness, delusion, or you “regressing.” it’s a very specific kind of attachment, and i… ===
this makes sense — and it’s not weakness, delusion, or you “regressing.” it’s a very specific kind of attachment, and it behaves differently than ordinary heartbreak.

here’s what’s actually going on, stripped of mysticism and self-blame:

you’re not stuck because you still want them.
you’re stuck because the ending never finished landing in your nervous system.

most past situations ended with one (or more) of these:
* clarity (“this isn’t right”)
* betrayal or disappointment that broke the bond cleanly
* emotional closure through conflict or time
* a new desire replacing the old one

this one didn’t.

this one left an open loop.

open loops are brutal because the brain treats them like unfinished sentences. the body keeps waiting for the period. that’s why it lingers even when logic says “i should be over this by now.”

why it feels different
this connection likely hit at a deeper layer than chemistry or fantasy. it touched:
* identity (“who i am when i’m with them”)
* future imagination (“who i could be / what life could look like”)
* nervous-system regulation (they felt calming, familiar, or anchoring even if imperfect)

when someone activates those layers and then disappears without full resolution, the psyche doesn’t register it as “over.” it registers it as temporarily interrupted.

that’s the trap.

and here’s the part you may not want to hear, but need to:

waiting is not neutral.
waiting is an action.
waiting is choosing potential over reality.

even if they came back tomorrow, the version of you that waited would meet them from a smaller, suspended place — not an empowered one.

the real fear underneath
it’s not “what if they come back and i don’t know what to do.”

it’s:

: 

letting go feels like erasing meaning. so your mind clings to the ache as proof that it mattered.

but meaning doesn’t disappear just because you stop holding the door open.

what to do now (practical, not platitudes)
# decide the wait is over — independent of them this is not “i’m done forever.” this is: i’m done pausing my life for an outcome i don’t control.
# mentally move them from ‘future possibility’ to ‘past experience’ not enemy. not fantasy. not “maybe.” just: someone who was important, and whose role is complete.
# pre-decide your response if they return uncertainty keeps the loop alive. clarity closes it. for example: - “if they come back without accountability, i say no.” - “if they come back with consistency and repair, i consider.” you don’t need to choose them. you need to choose your criteria.
# grieve the version of the future you imagined not the person — the timeline. that’s what hurts.

and this matters:

feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re meant to wait.
it means your system needs closure — and closure doesn’t require their participation.

you’re not meant to live in suspension. you’re meant to move with your life fully turned on.

this connection changed you. that doesn’t mean it owns you.

the moment you stop waiting, something subtle but powerful happens:
the bond loosens — not because it meant nothing, but because you chose yourself as the future again.

that’s the real ending.